There is a whole long list of ideas that XA uses that tie rather closely in with childhood abuse and abandonment, so closely that the XA experience is likely to be nothing more than further psychological abuse for many people.
(Note: X is a variable which can be A for Alcoholic, N for Narcotics, G for Gambling, etc.)

• you have no control over yourself
• you are insane
• you need something bigger and more powerful than you to tell how to do things
• you need to depend on something outside yourself
• the answer is outside of you
• only God can help you
• you are sick, diseased, incurable
• you are bad (do a MORAL inventory, admit your WRONGS)
• you are flawed (character DEFECTS)
• there is something wrong with you that no human power can fix
• you need to be in these gatherings (meetings)
• do what we tell you
• we know better than you
• we know all about you
• we know your type, we've had a lot of experience with people like you
• if you don't believe us it proves you're SICK
• if you have a logical argument it proves you're sick because against our way there can be no logical argument
• we're only abusing you in order to help you
• this isn't abuse, this is (tough) love
• if you're not ready to do things our way you should suffer some more
• we tried to help you, we told you what to do, but did you do it? no.
• it's all your own fault
• if you were attacked you should look for your part in it
• if your child was attacked you should look for your own part in it
• if your house was blown away in a hurricane you should look for your own part in it
• God has a plan for you- are you cooperating?
• we can tell you what God wants you to do
• we told you but you didn't listen

Okay, here's the refutation, are you ready for this?

you are insane

Not true. Someone who has a self-defeating addictive behavior and who realizes it and is looking for help is obviously sane.

you need something bigger and more powerful than you to tell how to do things

Not true. You need to learn self-discipline and do what you need to do for yourself. Anything else is simply postponing that.

you need to depend on something outside yourself

Not true. This idea is the core belief in addictions.

the answer is outside of you

Same as above.

only God can help you

Not true, even religious people say God helps those who help themselves. That indicates that it is possible to help yourself. The idea that some superior entity knows better than you what you need to do for yourself than you do is irresponsible. Self-help is more productive since you know your situation and can see what you're dealing with, and can directly experience the benefits, or otherwise, of your chosen behavior.

you are sick, diseased, incurable

Not true if we are talking about addictive behavior. Behavior is behavior- change your behavior if it isn't working for you. The Disease Concept is bull and always was. it is essentially unfounded. That is why they still call it a Concept- because it isn't REAL.

you are bad (do a MORAL inventory, admit your WRONGS)

Nope. You may have behaved in a self-defeating way and you may have even harmed others. But it would be foolish to assume that you are at core a bad person.

you are flawed (character DEFECTS)

So what. No-one is, or needs to be, perfect. Therefore this is totally irrelevant and is simply a shaming and controlling ploy built in to the philosophy- religious origins coming through rather strongly there I think...

there is something wrong with you that no human power can fix

Simply not true. Addictive behavior is very simple to deal with using modern, human-devised methods.

you need to be in these religious gatherings (meetings)

No you don't. You may have a natural desire for company, even for the company of people who understand or share the difficulties you have faced, but you can find those things elsewhere. Alternative recovery programs exist, and alternative social situations exist.

do what we tell you

Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

we know better than you

Sorry, I don't agree. In fact steppers usually know very little, and even less that is actually useful.

we know all about you

No, but you may like to think that. In fact people with addictive behavior problems cover a very wide spectrum. To believe that you know "all about" someone before you actually get to know them is bunk- simply stupid. And arrogant in the extreme.

we know your type, we've had a lot of experience with people like you

See above.

if you don't believe us it proves you're SICK

Ironically it is the other way around. People with some sense of their own worth and who retain the ability to think independently are more likely to reject religious recovery propaganda.

if you have a logical argument it proves you're sick because against our way there can be no logical argument

Not true. Logical arguments that demonstrate the inherent lack of logic or common sense in traditional religious recovery organizations are common, easy to grasp, simple to explain, and catching on with the public consciousness.

we're only abusing you in order to help you

With friends like you, who needs enemies?

this isn't abuse, this is (tough) love

This isn't a woman, its a waterfall

if you're not ready to do things our way you should suffer some more

Immature spitefulness. You don't get to control everyone who wants to recover.

we tried to help you, we told you what to do, but did you do it? no.

No, in many cases you didn't try to help, you simply tried to control. You tried to force a human spirit to conform to your perverted and undermining religious program and they resisted. Good for them.

it's all your own fault

Well almost certainly the addicted person has some degree of personal responsibility for their behavior. So lets show them how to use it, rather than condemning them.

if you were attacked you should look for your part in it

Yes, the fact that I was stabbed by a mugger is my fault. Thanks for explaining.

if your child was attacked you should look for your own part in it

Yes, same logic. Where can I find a killer pedophile to forgive, while I'm full of the holy spirit?

if your house was blown away in a hurricane you should look for your own part in it

I know. My decision to live in a house was based in self-will...

God has a plan for you- are you cooperating?

I have a plan for me. Are you listening?

we can tell you what God wants you to do

I rather doubt that.

we told you but you didn't listen

Yup.