One AA concept that I particularly liked when I was a chip-totin' member of AA was the disease theory. This goes hand-in-hand with the notion of powerlessness. When I was worshipping at the altar of Bill W., I loved the idea that I had an incurable disease. This was the perfect excuse for every bad thing I had ever done while under the influence of booze. How wonderful! I could escape culpability for everything by saying that the disease was in charge and I was - here we go again - powerless to control it.

That also meant that every time I felt like acting like an asshole, I could say, "Oh, that was my disease talking". Or I could justify anything by saying, "Well, what do you expect? I'm diseased - I'm a sick alcoholic". Or if I ever questioned anything or began to assert myself, the other AA members could say that my disease "had me" and I was on a dry drunk. Furthermore, I was going to be diseased for the rest of my life, so I might as well get used to the fact that my only hope for "remission" was meetings, meetings, friggin meetings for the rest of my miserable, diseased life.

It is incredible to me that this theory is so widely accepted, without any scientific evidence whatsoever to support it. When this theory (JUST a theory, mind you, and Webster's defines a theory as "a hypothesis assumed for the sake of argument" or "an unproved assumption") was introduced, drunks everywhere rejoiced, because now they could blame it ALL on the disease. Yippee! It's not my fault after all!

Frankly, the idea of a mythical "disease" talking to me and controlling my thoughts, feelings and actions is completely insane! Every time an AA member perpetuates this ridiculous fallacy, he/she is promoting insane, dependent, blame-shifting, immature thinking.

Excessive drinking is not a disease. It is simply behavior; furthermore, completely controllable behavior. Saying that anything or anyone else besides you is responsible for your drinking is a bullshit excuse. That's like the accused murderer screaming, "The devil made me do it!", or the cheating spouse who lamely says, "I just couldn't help myself!" Tell it to the divorce lawyer.

We all need to start taking real responsibility for our actions, not just giving lip service to the idea of responsibility. In AA, we are taught to "take responsibility", but only in the sense that we look for "our part" in every bad thing that has ever happened to us, including emtional and/or physical abuse. Scary. That is reallly scary. To teach traumatized people that they were even partly to blame for the abuse they endured is irresponsible and reprehensible! And "taking responsibility" never extends to the areas of one's life that are good and healthy. For those things, the credit is to be given entirely "to God and the Fellowship".

When I left AA, I was actually told by a "friend" from the program that he had seen this coming, because I had been "letting my life get in the way" of my Program. I had been letting my job, my education (I'm finishing my degree at night), and my relationship with my fiance "get in the way" of my AA. GET IN THE WAY! I thought that was the POINT of getting sober! To get on with our lives and start behaving like mature, responsible adults. And this sick twist actually accused?! me of - what? Excessive involvement with my own life?!

He also suggested that if I wasn't careful, that my "disease" would one day just rear its ugly head and blindside me and then where would I be? Well, drunk in the gutter, of course. Or in jail. Or in an institution. Or dead. I thanked him for his concern and hung up the phone. I haven't heard from him since, and I don't care to.

That one phone call really illustrated the insanity that is promoted by this Program. And thank God-of-my-understanding that I got the hell out while I still had a few of my own brain cells swirling around up there.

I've been "out" for a couple of months now, and I've never felt better. I feel confident, free, and above all - HEALTHY! Omigosh! It seems I've found the cure for this "disease" after all. Stay far away from diseased people and their diseased thinking. Get out while you still can.