It is sad but true that many of AA's slogans can be emotionally damaging when misused... If someone offers you a slogan in response to your problem, it's good to run a quick internal check: does the slogan provide relief, does it create confusion, or does it "sting", increasing the feeling of guilt or shame. The newcomer may intuitively feel that a slogan has been misused, but may have no recourse since they seldom have a "voice" in early recovery. Some senior AA's dish out the slogans as if they were cure-alls which replace true human compassion... let's take a look at some situations...

You're exactly where you're supposed to be.
The good intention of this slogan is to validate a phase in an individual's growth. Let's say a newcomer questions the notion of God (they are supposed to be doing this anyway, since the idea is to "come to" believe"...) that newcomer is "exactly where he's supposed to be". However I overheard an old-timer say "you're exactly where you're supposed to be" to a newcomer friend of mine who was feeling suicidal!!! Will someone please find my can of asshole repellant?

What was your part?
This is not a slogan, but a concept which "the program" teaches. Essentially, when an individual suffers pain, one is to look at his part in the situation rather than blame, blame, blame others. Sadly, this technique of looking at one's part is frequently used to an extreme as well. It's called blaming the victim, and it is psychologically damaging. Those individuals in the rooms who deny the existence of legitimate victims are actually setting themselves up for a hard fall. Everyone is a victim of something, whether it's government, culture, pollution, poverty or a wide variety of other forms of oppression... When an individual suffers from true victimization, and is told to look at his part, he may not even recognize the instruction as being abusive because he is not used to being treated well. In times of great emotional distress, even if the victim has participated to an extent in his or her pain, the "what was your part" question can do further damage. It is much more healing to offer good old human compassion, or even make fun of the person or entity who hurt the individual because it provides relief from the painful emotion!!! At a later time, AFTER the pain has subsided, the sufferer can look at his/her part, but NEVER while in serious emotional pain! In cases of rape, child abuse or sexual abuse, it is ALWAYS a mistake for the victim to blame him/herself.

Keep in mind, however, that abusers regularly shift the blame onto their victims in order to dodge their own accountability. They will act as if sitting next to them, going on a date with them, moving in with them or marrying them somehow entitles them to abuse, because their victims "put themeselves in the position". This is 100% sick, and inhumane, not to mention ILLEGAL. It is wrong to be "patient and tolerant" of abusers. Appropriate measures need to be taken so that society is protected from such people.

H-A-L-T , Watch out for justifiable anger.
The warnings against anger come in many shapes & sizes within the program. Sure it's not good to live in anger, but the best way I've observed of getting rid of anger is simply by dealing with it appropriately, then moving on. Folks in early recovery often don't know how to handle their anger and the pseudo-serene atmosphere of many meetings creates an illusion that "good" AAs who work their program never experience anger. Anger is a normal human emotion, and never expressing it can be just as self-defeating as it is to live as a rageaholic. Eliminating anger from the emotional map can lead to doormatism, which can certainly fuel the desire to drink. Anger signals to us when our boundaries have been invaded and when we are not being treated appropriately. What do you suppose would happen to an animal in the wild who never got angry? It would get eaten or destroyed! In fact, humans are among the most vicious animals on the planet. (read some history books to see what we have done to our own kind!) In fact, it's healthy to be angry about some of the things that humans do to each other. Murder, rape, child molestation, slavery, exploitation...

If anger is a problem area, there are many books that can be found which can help you deal with it. Just look in the recovery section of any bookstore.

Turn it over, Let it go...
This one's a biggie... Anyone who interferes with someone's legitimate grieving process with a "turn it over" or a "let it go" also deserves to be sprayed liberally with asshole repellant.