The real deal...

Never thought I'd find a website like this --

I used to go to a lot of AA meetings when I first decided to get sober -- 90 meetings in 90 days -- then it tapered off to 3 per week, 1 a week, 1 a month, 1 in three months -- don't really recall the last time I went to one. Haven't drank either. I learned that I have very adverse reactions to alcohol, and that once I have a little in my system, I need more and more. It was an addiction. AA helped me overcome that addiction, and now that I'm no longer a slave to the addiction, I have the capacity to make rational decisions.

AA was sort of like boot camp -- it helped me do a lot of growing up in a short amount of time, but I sure don't want to spend the rest of my life there. The unfortunate thing about AA is that as an organization that employs no professional help, and being run mostly by volunteers -- folks who don't really have gainful employment (as a result of not having marketable skills), things get pretty screwed up. Also, being roomfuls of dysfunctional drunks, the gossip/rumor mill tends to run full tilt. The folks who never grow past the stage of early recovery are the ones I see time after time -- maybe that's why it works so well for newcomers -- the seasoned pros aren't too far ahead of them.

It's also sad that so much 13th stepping happens. I've seen it happen over and over. It's also sad that so much gossip & backbiting happens. I've been shunned for publicly admonishing people who did that crap, but felt that my personal integrity was worth more than "letting go and letting God". The God of my understanding wouldn't condone that BS either.

Anyhow, I sure enjoy the website. I also feel empathy for the people who were wronged by the assholes they sought help from. It is a shame that people in need can't find help without putting themselves at risk of becoming prey for vultures.

A few stern words from a concerned citizen

You dick head! There are sick people in AA/NA and everywhere else in this fuckin world. There are some strange people in the rooms but I don't let anyone take advantage of me and if someone else does, that's there stupid falt. The twelve steps teach the same thing any other religon does it's nothing different. Spiritual principals so what. It sounds to me that you live in fear and are worried some one will hurt you. I'm not mister spirituality but I try. A 12 step program saved my life so fuck off and if you said any of this shit to my face i would kick your fukin teeth in you little fag. Your probably some crack addict back on the shit and are mad becuase you didn't stay clean. Why are you so worried about people in AA/NA anyway worry about yourself the world will do just fine!!!!

there's nothing wrong with the steps

An ex military man tells his story

In 1986, as a member of the US Navy, I was 'diagnosed' with {I think} alcohol abuse, or was it alcohol dependence? I forget. Anyway they placed me in the ARC (alcohol rehabilitation center) in Newport RI. In 5 weeks, we had one attempted suicide, and another guy was successful. He jumped off a building.

I was 19. The ARC brought us to meetings (in a van) every night. Your description of predators is so accurate. I was naive, and was hit on by a homosexual... my first sponsor was in need of 'asshole repellant' as well (ha ha ha)... anyway I stopped taking my antabuse and managed to assert myself enough to escape the demagogues (my ship going out to sea helped).

Anyway, after my discharge, being still a young guy (22) I got into the party mode and bounced from one job to another/one apt to another. My head was still full of the AA dogma and I felt that if I could stop drinking (with the help of AA) I could get my act together. And so I entered my self loathing/perpetual relapse stage for about 4 years.

Long story short, I got married, had a baby and decided I needed to cut the shit, and made a sincere effort in the program.

I stayed sober for 4 years, and am grateful to the program and the 'good guys' in the program who were a big part in helping me achieve that. However, I got to the same point you got to; move on or remain static. After about 6 months on my own, I drank.

Funniest thing in the world; NOTHING HAPPENED. I did not 'pick up where I left off' and to this day I am a moderate drinker. I also want to point out that I had help from a psychologist who I bounced alot of the AA dogma off of and she helped me considerably with a new diagnosis.

Let me affirm it to you:

I am not crazy.
I am CERTAINLY NOT an alcoholic (whatever that is)
I suffered from.......... {drum roll please} Immaturity.

Yep, I was immature. Ha ha ha. You like my story? Of course, the guru's and other groupers dont want to hear it. I'm in DENIAL. (ha ha ha) OK, thanks again for the great website and if you want to put it in readers responses, go ahead just use an alias, ok?