AA is currently the largest self-help group for problem drinkers, but this may not always be the case in the future. Its ideas originated in the 1930's when very little was known about addictive behavior, and AA has not updated its methods since then. It is a historical accident that this self-help group grew to the size that it is, expanding upon a set of religious ideas which the founders got from a cultish religious organization called the Oxford Group. The founders then assumed, (wrongly), that everyone else needed a similar religious experience as well, to overcome alcoholism. There are many people in AA who do not take the program too seriously and who use AA as a support and sober social network. These tend to be the healthy ones. If you feel you really need a support group and AA is all that is available, you can be selective in what you "take on board", and you can be one of the healthy ones too!

In some areas there are differently oriented groups and people who are more healthy and open-minded, who may avoid the more fundamentalist meetings and prefer the more loosely structured ones- you can do likewise. But in some areas there are only relatively hardline fundamentalist type groups. The decision to attend AA meetings in such an area is not one to be taken lightly- there will be great pressure on you to conform; this pressure may be subtle and it may not be evident straight away- they may let you make friends first -- and even intelligent people often end up submitting to this pressure and conforming. Do not underestimate the cult type mind-control mechanism that operates in these hardline groups. In these circumstances it may be a better choice to rely on Internet-only support, and preserve your sanity and independence of thought.

If you choose to play anyway, here are some basic tips;

1. You can use an AA group as a social support system, and not as a recovery program. You are able to take what you need and leave the rest, just like they suggest.

2. You can relate to people without sharing their beliefs.

3. You don't have to be open about what exactly your beliefs are anyway.

4. You can be an AA member without "working the program"- in fact you can be an AA member and use the most up-to-date, state of the art recovery methods instead. You can personally tailor a plan which works best for you, drawing knowledge from SMART, Rational Recovery, Women for Sobriety, 16 Step Empowerment, traditional psychology, etc., and ignoring AA's sin/confession and powerlessness model entirely.

5. You can share spiritual-sounding stuff in meetings to keep people off your back. A few comments about Zen will usually work. Or just talk about "gratitude" in the abstract. The AA literature is so full of contradictions, it's not too hard to find something to support whatever point of view you choose. Be creative!

6. You need a sponsor like a jellyfish needs a can opener.

7. If people get on your case, there are many program platitudes you can use to point the finger back at them and deflect unwanted criticism. "Don't take my inventory, take your own" is a good example. Ask them why they are "playing God". Tell them they "need to learn to let go". There are many more! If all else fails, say you'll pray for them, and walk away, shaking your head sadly.

8. You can stop going to the meetings when you feel you no longer need them. regardless of what poorly informed AA members may have to say on the subject.

9. AA and other self-help groups, because of the regular intake of vulnerable people, attract predators. If you are a woman this is a real hazard, although being a man is no guarantee of safety. Be aware that AA and other such 12 step programs take a very irresponsible blame-shifting attitude to such behavior, often blaming the victim rather than the perpetrator. Do not assume a person who seems friendly has your best interests at heart. There are many emotionally immature and destructive people in AA passing themselves off as regular members helping people, who are in reality helping themselves to the vulnerable and disoriented new people who in many cases have blurred sexual and psychological boundaries and who may also have a history of abuse. Be very, very careful, and ask for the opinions of more established members- ask if someone who seems keen on you has a reputation for hitting on new people. Often, women in AA will warn new women, but ask anyway, but do not assume a negative response means the person is okay. Preferably, do not get involved with another AA member at all until you are very sure of your ground and of who you are dealing with. It is wise to view any AA member approaching you for a date in the early months, or even the first year or so, as a distinct danger sign.

   and one last, very important one-

10. A subtle and insidious AA programming towards helplessness, non-existant disease, dependence, irresponsibility, superstition, fatalism, and pathological self-blame emanates from virtually all the AA literature and readings, slogans and wall signs, even in the healthy groups. To remain aware of and protected against this programming, it is a good idea to read and regularly refresh your mind from a list of alternative deprogramming-type books, like, but not limited to, Ken Ragge's "The Real AA, Behind the Myth of Twelve Step Recovery", Vince Fox's "Addiction, Change and Choice -- The New View of Alcoholism" , etc. Participation in Internet based deprogramming or free-speech based recovery groups may be helpful also.