The human element of course! The human element is an extremely strong pull for many people! As I've always said, there are many wonderful people in AA. I hope they leave soon. Why? Because it is impossible for them to live up to their full potential within that system. Any system which claims to be perfect, which labels diseased anyone who dares question it, which alleges that anyone who does not find happiness within it is simply a dishonest person, is a system which must be looked at with a critical eye!

On the surface, AA appears to be an inviting place which draws needy individuals and offers them an instant supportive community -- folks who are all struggling with the same problem. They want to stop drinking.

I found the structure to be immediately familiar, as my state of mind upon arrival in AA was that I had really screwed up. The group welcomed me; the "naughty child" with open arms, at a time in my life when I had no friends, and my family was rather angry with me. I could go to meetings and make friends with the other "naughty children". The support felt good, but once again, I encountered the familiar repentant sinner role, which was already indoctrinated in me by my Judeo-Christian upbringing. To question AA, I would have to question Judeo Christian values (and simultaneously my family values). So I did.

The first building block to life according to the Judeo-Christian doctrine, is the concept of original sin. An innocent sperm met an unassuming egg, and thus was born the creature that is I. Upon entry into the world, I was metaphorically rubber stamped with the label "sinner". I am nothing, God is everything. As a woman, I got a double whammy because not only was I deemed a sinner upon birth, but the same doctrine reduces me to a companion created for the amusement of my male counterpart, and fashioned from his rib. In short, I am a "sinning rib". If these are the base concepts which are the building blocks to the foundation for the rest of my life, and thus the main elements upon which subsequent life lessons are learned, it is no wonder that I drank myself silly.

Nevertheless, my curiosity was piqued. So I went back for more meetings.

Another draw which I observed, was the regularity by which people meet. This regularity sets up a natural condition for friendships to develop as well as for mating and mate selection to take place. Seeing members of the opposite sex (or same sex for gays), ignites a small spark in the soul. People want to look a little better, carry themselves a little better to be noticed by appealing potential partners. Now what happens within those relationships -- relationships which are emotionally intense by nature -- when both members are working The Program which suggests that certain emotions be denied or repressed, is another matter entirely... I've seen some results which were.... ahem... not pretty.

Married people sometimes lose a spouse to a new lover whom the spouse met in the meetings. The sudden personality change of the attending spouse, the flood of new faces, the indoctrinated belief that outsiders just don't understand the alcoholic and the inordinate amount of time that the substance abusing spouse must spend in the 12 step underworld all contribute to an often unanticipated marital disharmony. It is true that in some cases marriages improve, but in many others, while the spouse may be sober, s/he is now an absent partner who is virtually unrecognizable in personality.

While the catch phrase "men with the men and women with the women" is tossed around, it is rarely followed. Why? Because when you take away an addict's drug, there is no escape left from the rawness of life. Except of course, sex.

Another pull of AA meetings is that they are held at convenient times throughout the day, at a variety of locations. The program offers cheap amateur therapy in the form of people helping people, and offers a sense of community. This element is highly appealing to many people, since community is a rare find in our modern society where technology has created a distance between people. Community and a sense of belonging is something people truly need to feel healthy and whole.

Nevertheless, sick groups develop, when there are no healthy role models within the group, and since healthy people generally do not want to stay in sick groups, there tend to be many sick groups which develop. A newcomer, especially if he/she comes from an abusive past, is often not able to recognize a sick group as he/she probably does not associate with many healthy people. Furthermore, it is my experience that using the Big Book only, as a guide to living can be hazardous to one's health. There are many psychologically unsound practices suggested in this book, and many of these pitfalls are discussed in depth in other essays that appear on this site.

Finally, AA offers many "sober" activities (dances, retreats, etc.) to replace the large chunk of time one is left with when one stops drinking. Also, AA offers a place where a community can gather and exchange living techniques (in a limited capacity, provided that what is shared validates "The Program" or at the very least, does not contradict the same. All this support is available for the repentant alcoholic and he will get better... PROVIDED THAT he can mentally rise above the loaded language and contradictory messages, dodge the defeatist conditioning, stand up to shaming and emotional abuse in the form of tough love, while maintaining a hold of his senses as he is pummeled with endless thought stopping slogans. Hey, he may even make a good friend or two to help him through his struggle.

Do whatever you want with your brain.